Robots Defeat Pirates For Cultural Supremacy. Ninjas Lay In Wait.

Just a year ago, the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie was theaters raking in the box office dollar. This film marked the last gasp of the pirate as king of the pop culture heap. Starting in 2003 when the first Pirates movie was released, pirates dominated culture on a number of levels. Pirates were everywhere, from the multiplex movie screens to the costumes worn by the children looking for sweet handouts on Halloween. Pirate themed toys from Lego’s to miniature Johnny Depps were flying off the shelves. Literary star Dave Eggers opened a pirate supply store. I personally attended at least one pirate themed birthday party – for an adult, no less – which I sadly did not dress up for. Pirates were riding a wave cultural supremacy previously unheard of for them.

And now…

Now pirates are out. No ones talking about pirates. No other pirate movie has swooped in to capitalize on the Pirates of the Caribbean phenomenon. What happened? In one word: Robots. Robots have moved in to knock pirates off of the top of the cultural mountain. The first blow against pirate supremacy was launched when Transformers was released saying to the world, “Hey, we’re robots. Remember how cool we are?” And the general public responded by saying, “Yeah. Robots. You guys are alright.”

From that point on, robots have been gaining traction all over before exploding this summer. First, Ironman was released. Now, I’m not a moron. I know Ironman is not a robot. He’s a man in a mechanical suit, but he looks like a robot. Ironman is like the gateway drug to robots. You get used to watching a mechanical face for a couple of hours. It’s not so bad. You can even root for him. Then, the next thing you know you’re ready for to watch a movie starring a true robot. He doesn’t even have to talk. Or have a recognizable human form. That’s right, Ironman paved the way for WALL-E. The robot revolution is in full swing. Robots are great, and not just the ass-kicking, shape-shifting, robots from outer space variety. Robots are cute, cuddly, and for the whole family.

Now, robots are the new kings of the pop culture universe. Get ready. Robots are going to be everywhere. I for one am all for this since I think robots are just about the coolest things in the world. I don’t even need the fast, fighting robots. I am personally a fan of the big, clunky, nuclear-paranoia-of-the-‘50’s style robots. I don’t even need cool CGI. I’m fine with clumsy guys in metal suits. I am cautiously optimistic for The Day the Earth Stood Still remake. I am afraid the filmmakers will try to streamline Gort, only the greatest movie robot of all time, but I’ll take my robots while I can get them.



I fully intend to enjoy the next couple of years because I know it will not last. Yes, just as robots superseded pirates, robots are doomed to be overtaken by the next big cultural wave. That wave, boys and girls, will be ninjas. That is the great cycle of pop culture cool characters. It goes from pirates to robots to ninjas. It’s a never-ending cycle. From the antiquated to the futuristic to the exotic and back. Ninjas are patiently waiting in the dark – as is their style – to take down robots. I don’t know exactly how this will happen. It may be a slow build of small ninja related products or it may be one big ninja blockbuster. I have heard there is a G.I. Joe movie in the works. If it’s anything like the cartoon, a ninja or two will play major roles in the movie. If it’s done well this may do the trick. Of course, ninjas are known for the surprise attack. They may take over in new, unprecedented ways. I do not know how or when ninjas will take the throne as pop culture kings, but mark my words, within a few years, ninjas will be everywhere.

So, if you do not like robots all you need to wait for their time to pass. If you already miss the heady days of the pirate, they too will once again have their day. Pirates, robots, and ninjas. That’s the cycle. Each character has their advantage. Pirates have the best costumes with eye-patches, hats, wigs, and swishy shirts. They have a clear advantage in women’s costumes: the sexy pirate or wench. There really are no sexy ninja or – god forbid – robot costumes. Robots have the best action figures with flashing lights and monotone voices. Ninjas have the best accessories: swords, throwing stars, staffs, and nunchaku. My advice is to enjoy each part of the cycle. Embrace each one. Buy the toys for your kids – or yourself. See the movies. Throw theme parties. Have fun. By the time you get tired of robots ninjas, will be here and pirates will be a glint off on the horizon.

Shalom.